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Your state of mind can have a big impact on your ability to get aroused. Even if you’re with someone who you find sexually appealing, worrying about whether you’ll be able to please your partner can make it impossible for you to do just that.
In men, one of the effects of the stress hormones is to constrict blood vessels. Less blood flowing into the penis makes it more difficult to have an erection. Even men who normally don’t have any trouble getting excited can become unable to get an erection when they’re overcome by sexual performance anxiety.
Sexual performance anxiety isn’t diagnosed as often in women as it is in men, but it can affect arousal in women, too. Anxiety can prevent women from getting lubricated enough to have sex, and it can take away the physical desire to make love.
Anxiety can take both men and women out of the mind-set needed to have sex. When you’re focused on whether you’ll perform well, you can’t concentrate on what you’re doing in bed. A distracted lover is an inattentive lover, which can make you feel like even more of a failure. Even if you are able to get aroused, you may be too distracted to reach orgasm.
Sexual performance anxiety leads to a perpetual cycle. You become so anxious about sex that you can’t perform, which leads to even more sexual performance anxiety.
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